Yay!

Beneprotein got here today, yesterday, blah, on Wednesday. Why am I happy? Because it means I'm no longer stuck with just the recipes that I was given. I can add protein to virtually anything and it will help me meet my goal of 75g+ of protein a day that I need to have both from a nutritional and a recovery standpoint.

Going back and forth over the interview tomorrow while eating a lukewarm bowl of cream of wheat. With banana pureed in. And some beneprotein. And some splenda. Tastes pretty bland, but let me tell you - given the limitations of my diet up until now, bland is quite welcome.

At any rate, going back and forth. I know the job would be great to have, I need a job, my family needs me to have a job and all that jazz. But at the same time, I hesitate because I do not want to be in a small company again where it is so easy to fly by the seat of your pants rather than have a set of policies in place so that you know what needs to get done, and you can focus rather than having everything be questionable and potentially changed in 5 minutes.

Don't get me wrong, I'm adaptable and very good at dealing with unforeseen circumstances - but when you're in a creative field and you just spent an hour doing something only to have someone above you completely change their mind and tell you to scrap it, do something else, and by the way you're going to stay late to do it - well... it just isn't very nice. I much prefer things to be thought out ahead of time, given to me and that way I can prioritize. If something sudden comes up, I can switch no problem - but especially when what you do takes hours upon hours just to get something right a random change b/c of a new wind direction is very problematic.

At any rate, I am rambling. This really doesn't have much to do with the surgery. But, I will say this - normally when I would feel like this, I would emotionally eat. Chips, lemonade (sugar free, but still), popcorn - really anything I could scrounge up. I'd eat and eat and eat, and I'd end up feeling like crap and bloated and that would essentially make me stop thinking about it. Now I am eating because I have to, and rambling on a blog that nobody reads, lol.